Like any other culture or ethnic group, China has developed its own unique Chinese marriage traditions. The events before, during, and after the wedding show a vibrant and one of a kind experience. It is important to remember, however, that there can be great variations in any of these general traditions due to social status, economics, or personal choice, especially nowadays.

Prior to the Wedding

Chinese marriages used to be traditionally handled by a matchmaker and the two sets of parents involved, giving the potential couple practically no choice in anything. First the matchmaker would find what appeared to be a suitable match and talk to both sets of parents, similar to a real estate agent speaking to a buyer and seller. If both parties agreed that it seemed to be a good deal, the parents would meet with each other to negotiate a dowry and officialize the betrothal. This betrothal could only be undone of both sets of parents were in agreement to dissolve it. A fortune teller would then use the astrological calendar to set a date, one tradition that has still made its way into modern times.

The Day Itself

Several traditions made up the time leading up to the Chinese wedding ceremony. Both the bride and groom would undergo elaborate rituals to show that they were now becoming adults. For the bride this took the form of a ceremonial hair dressing, styling it as was custom for a married woman. For the groom he would be given a special cap, again along with a specific ritual. Two processions would then take place. First, the groom’s family would process to the house of the bride in order to bring her to the wedding. Sometimes the family of the bride would host a banquet at this time. After the groom arrived, or after the banquet, both families would then process back to the groom’s house, and the groom was finally allowed to look at his bride’s face.

The Marriage Ceremony

Surprisingly, the wedding itself was traditionally very simple, a contrast to everything going into preparing for it. The bride and groom would pray to Heaven and Earth, and give homage to their ancestors in front of the groom’s family altar. The god of the kitchen was also revered and tea was given to the parents. This could conclude the ceremony, or sometimes the bride and groom would finish by sharing wine from one cup and a portion of food together. Tea with lotus leaves still remains important today in a wedding ceremony, as “lotus” has many homophones including “year”, “seed”, and “child”, making it a fertility symbol.

Although it is true that many of these traditions have fallen to the wayside in modern times, or have taken much less elaborate and more symbolic forms, they should not be overlooked. They are still an important part of Chinese culture.

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